dancing with self-doubt

lessons in healing and growing sometimes arrive when least expected and to my delight, these lessons arrive in ways that stretch us to our edges so that we can create new ones. we have to be willing to be open to these little opportunities that may present themselves when we’re not expecting and it can be easy to miss them if we’re not in a place of connection and presence with ourselves. a challenging thing to do when you’re in the midst of healing and transforming.

taking a creative stance, an open approach to considering everything to be not what it seems can help. to do the thing that feels like an impulse or a crazy thought but really, is your body, your soul, your own intuition speaking and wishing to be expressed.

and so it was a few weeks ago for me.

I demanding to release self-doubt and self doubt asking for my presence.

a presence that asked that I be open, that I listen deeply, that I feel.

and so I found myself with music playing and my body flowing as I heard what was really beneath self doubt, a longing to protect. a protection that has served me in many ways throughout my life but that needs to transform as I am no longer that person. this simple act of listening and using music and movement to connect was transformative in ways that are hard to put into words and is best understood through experience. since that morning I have dialogued with self doubt while hiking up a hill and in several other ways that each time leave me feeling with more peace and more self confidence.

these are the lessons of healing, self exploration, and self connection. an invitation for our own sensations, memories, parts, to be present with us so we can understand them, is transformative. the impulse to push away because of discomfort, feels easy and common but in the end only keeps us stuck.

we learn to heal through connection and that includes connecting to, and in my case dancing with, the parts of us that challenge us most.